SundayMorningGooner: View from the far side

Far Side View - If It Doesn’t Ukraine, It Pours

It’s all turning a bit double standards in the Nouveau Engerland regime.
Reports from the Engerland camp is that due to the recent exposés of Ukrainian hooligans & their preference for racial violence, Theo & The Ox’s families will not be travelling to the €2012 Championships for fear of being targets of such abhorrent abuse.
In The Ox’s case, this is particularly sad as it his his first major tournament representing his country & as his dad so proudly wore his Engerland shirt before him, you know he’d want to see his son, on his first competitive appearance, emulating his achievement.
Some members of the team have aired their views on this matter, with Joleon Lescott adding: “It’s a shame for some members of the squad that their families feel they can’t go and it’s a situation that needs to be addressed.”
This view is, obviously, the right stance & you question why a country with such a bad record of fascist hooligans is hosting a major world sporting event. I would add that Polands record is no better.
But……this is on the back of the Engerland squad selection & the Police & FA’s handling of the John Terry situation.
• JT makes the squad, Rio Ferdinand doesn’t. Phil Jones makes the squad (Rio’s Brand United understudy). Chris Smalling (if fit) would have made the squad (Rio’s Brand United understudy). We are told the selection was on footballing grounds!! Not sure on that one. Convinced Rio was left out to accommodate JT.
• The FA just bungled the whole affair & as a result we lost a very good manager.
• JT’s court date is delayed until after the €’s! Why has it taken 9 months for this to reach a judge? It’s not gonna happen but JT could (theoretically) make the front page for winning the €’s (or gate crashing the celebrations if he’s not playing), then 2 weeks later make the front page for being a convicted racist!!! Brilliant example to all, not!!!

In my opinion this is the double standard, We Condemn & We Condone
We condemn the hooligans & all they stand for (& rightly so) but by having JT in the squad is this not condoning racism by association?
I know we are all innocent until proven guilty, but if this were any other profession he would be on gardening leave until it was resolved.
Just another case of The FA making Engerland look stupid, but hey the team to their best to help!

TheSundayMorningGooner, expecting flattery to deceive

Far Side View - Happy St Michael Thomas Day

“It’s up for grabs now!!!”

Far Side View - Ocean’s Eleven

The dust has settled, the rumour express has started, the haters are stabbing RvP in the back already, just because he didn’t sign on the pitch at The Hawthorns !!!
The majority of talk is of whom we need to bring in, but to balance the order in the the universe, firstly we must redistribute the wealth & cull the overpaid, under utilised grazing herd of a squad we have, that is draining the purse & demoralising the support.
Here is my ‘Ocean’s Eleven’ to be shipped off to a far away port, to provide “A little less conversation, a little more action please” & the young guns who would replace them at no extra cost (much to Arsene’s way of thinking)

Manuel Almunia - Bye bye to the clumsy waiter, to think some touted him for England!!!
Lukas Fabianski - Number 2 at Arsenal & Poland behind Szczesny. Must know Wenger doesn’t have the faith, when an injured Woj get picked ahead of him. Has let it be known he wants out.
Vito Mannone - Italy’s former U21 just not an Arsenal number 2
Sebastian Squillachi - A panic buy because the Sahko deal fell apart, has done nothing to convince otherwise.
Johan Djourou - At one stage the lucky charm of the team, has been found wanting too often.
Denilson - Gone (on loan) & forgotten
Andrey Arshavin - A shame but just not the player we all hoped he’d be.
Carlos Vela - All the spark but no consistency
Ju Young-Park - Inamoto mark 2?
Nicklaus Bendtner - The ego has landed, well let’s hope somewhere else.
Marroune Chamack - Maybe not played enough, maybe not played to his strengths enough, maybe just not good enough

The new boys from within:
Miquel - Solid defender with a good reading of the game
Lansbury - Enough with the loans, give the guy a chance
Eisfield - Brought in January to be moulded into the Arsenal way
Ryo - Paid his dues at Bolton, now deserves the chance to show his worth on the big stage.
Campbell - Impressive in Ligue 1.
Afobe - Touted as the next [fill in as appropriate] can’t be worse than what we’ve already got.

This isn’t a don’t buy anyone we’ve got it covered blog, far from it. It’s we got some overpaid cr@p in the squad. Let’s get rid, replace the majority with the talented, young, hungry players we have at our disposal & add to them the experience we desperately need.
Dempsey, Vertonghen & M’Villa are still my preferred & a keeper off course.

TheSundayMorningGooner, hibernating till August?

Far Side View - The Political View

Chel$ki win The Champions League,
Cameron “Go On My Son”
Merkel “Scheiße!!!”
Obama “Touchdown???”

Far Side View - Downing & Dante’s 7th level of depravity

Roy Hodgson named his first England squad with a few surprises:
Goalkeepers - Joe Hart, Robert Green, John Ruddy.
Defenders - Leighton Baines, Gary Cahill, Ashley Cole, Glen Johnson, Phil Jones, Joleon Lescott, John Terry.
Midfielders - Gareth Barry, Stewart Downing, Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard, James Milner, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Scott Parker, Theo Walcott, Ashley Young.
Strikers - Andy Carroll, Jermian Defoe, Wayne Rooney, Danny
Welbeck.

My thoughts on it all (well after all it’s my blog!!)
Obviously the inclusion of Theo & The Ox is the right move & hopefully The Ox’s experience wont be a repeat of Theo’s German debacle.
Only picking 7 defenders is brave. I know Phil Jones can play centre or right back but not sure on that.
The racist? Well it was him or Rio, never both.
Andy Carroll’s inclusion is a bit of a surprise given his whole season performance, but on current form he deserves it & he is Plan B.
But, Stuart Bloody Downing !!!!
The guy can’t cross his legs.
Season stats; 38 games; Goals - 0; Assists - 0.
How can an supposed international winger go a whole season with no assists.
What photos of The FA has this guy got & what are they doing? cos what ever it is, it must be the Dante’s 7th level of depravity to keep guaranteeing him a call up.
Lennon & Adam Johnson must be burning effigies of Downing & Hodgson as we speak.

Oh well, what’s done is done.
No doubt Engerland will flatter to deceive, as ever, get knocked out in group stages.
The Sun will then find out that Hodgson has not only got a speech impediment (heaven forbid!) but that he also has a long lost German cousin.
They will then start a campaign to oust the ‘Slurring, Dirty Johnny Foreigner’ & have him replaced by “Good ‘Ole East end Barrow Boy, he’s nice to his mum (like The Krays), ‘Andshake ‘Arry Redknapp”
You never know where or how they get their information!!!!

TheSundayMorningGooner; hopeful but not expectant

Far Side View - Prepare for the Blitzkrieg

Lukas Podolski claimed he can be Arsene’s perfect striker next season with his versatility to play any role in the forward line.

“In Cologne, I played as a centre forward and also as a playmaker.
In the national team I play wide on the left, I honestly don’t mind where I play, as long as it’s in a forward position. But it’s always the coach who decides where you play and I will do my best wherever I play.
I had a very good season with Cologne, I played well and as a result I’m now going to Euro 2012 in the summer with lots of confidence. After that, I will be joining up with my new team mates at Arsenal and it is my goal just to do my best and be successful there.”

Never one to doubt his own ability, Lukas has the credentials to blitzkrieg his way through the Premier League defences, along side RvP (hopefully)

Far Side View - Our New Number 2?

Another day, another leaked shirt design.
Must admit, prefer this to the other options floating around

Far Side View - …..still finish above spurs

Far Side Seasonal View - Pills Thrills ‘n’ Bellyaches -
My 3rd Season as The Sunday Morning Gooner

May 2012 & finally through a difficult season & I think in one foul swoop, this sums up the season perfectly.
• ‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.’ (Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities.)

As for my own thoughts, high, lows & indifference abound, so I’m going to try to make this simple.
Pills - Transfer policy
Thrills - Chelsea, Spurs, AC Milan
Bellyaches - Man United, AC Milan, little league teams

The Bitterest Pill -
In essence Arsene’s ‘Make stars, not buys stars’ transfer policy works. It just starts to unravel when Cesc & Na$ri, 2 ‘made stars’ leave before the the programme has come to fruition. It especially goes pear shaped when the 2 aforementioned stars leave in the last week transfer window giving very little time to find suitable replacements. Everyman & his dog knew full well that both were leaving, but Arsene stood firm either hoping it would just go away or was just being plain stubborn to the last. The resultant 4 ‘panic buys’ of late August have, pretty much paid off, with the exception of Park, who, lets face it, can only be an Inamoto style marketing ploy.
The Curious Case of Andrei Arshavin bugs me a bit. The timing of the loan smacked of mismanagement & deep down don’t think we ever gave him a decent run in his favoured position to show the world his true talent. This was shown in the second half at Milan. With a limited bench, we had to result in calling on the services of Park & Chamakh. If Andrei had been available, he would have been a much better foil for RvP.
The good thing is that Arsene looks to be addressing this situation. With a busy summer ahead at the €’s & LDN 2012, the window of opportunity to sign players is limited & the early locking in of Podolski is a wise move.

Comeback Thrills -
For a team, allegedly ‘not up for the fight’, we came back from the brink in some remarkable games, to show that this team does have vertebrae.
Date: Saturday 29th October, Location: Stamford Bridge, Victims: Chel$ki
My personal memory of this game is clouded by an excess of alcohol. Watched in The Town Hall, Balmain. 2-1 Down at half time, the revised odds flashed up on the screen. 12-1!!! for an Arsenal victory. Hind sight is a b!tch. A 5-3 victory & the alcoholic blurr was increased through to the very early morning.
Date: Sunday 26th February, Location: The Emirates, Victims: The Spuds
After 35 minutes our season was finished. Undeservedly, 2 nil down at home against the pretenders, nothing coming off in front of goal, yet another keeper playing a blinder. Then over the next 30 minutes, the confidence, the free flowing football & the goals returned. The Spuds were put in their rightful place & order was returned to the universe.
Date: Tuesday 6th March, Location: The Emirates, Victims: AC Milan
An honourable mention goes to our 3-0 victory over Milan. 4 nil after the first leg & with the world having written us off, Arsene preached ‘Making the impossible, possible’ & very nearly pulled it off.
Date: 2011/ 2012, Location: The Premier League, Victims: The Premier League
7 points from 7 games to 70 Points from 38 Games. 17th to 3rd.
Arsenal were written off by all after 7 games. The United mauling was a desperate low. The defeat to the Spuds, was apparently the ‘Changing of the Guard’. But we are The Arsenal, everyone hates us, but we don’t care. We have survived before & we proved we will continue to survive. Our run in March/April from The Spuds to Wolves shows we have the backbone & ability for the fight. We just need to do it for a whole season.
To be fair we stumbled across the line in the end, but at least it showed we can do when we absolutely have to (or we are just the best of the bad bunch?)

Early Morning Bellyaches -
The obvious were Brand United & AC Milan (away) but the results that ached the most were failures to the ‘lesser teams’.
Blackburn, QPR, Wolves, I could go on. As stated before, we proved we can raise our game when we need to, we don’t do it for 38 games.
It just comes down to which Arsenal turns up?
Free flowing, all conquering or free falling, all faltering??

Special mentions:
‘Va Va Voom’ revisited -
You can’t make this Sh!t up’ - The second coming of Henry was a tabloid headline writers wet dream. Coming off the bench & scoring the winner against Leeds in the FA Cup was a red top premature ejaculation. His previous 226 goals for The Arsenal made him a legend, his 227th made him immortal.
The Ox -
Many question Wenger’s mental state at spending £10m+ on another teenage prodigy, but this one works. Physically up for the fight & probably at Theo’s ability level already, The Ox (alongside Jack) is the future of the team & the base it should be built around.

Onto 2012/13 & what lies ahead.
The elephant in the corner needs to be slain. 7 years is a long time & it’s really beginning to itch.
In the ideal world the squad would have 2 players for each position, who would seamlessly interchange with no effect. Personally I believe we are 2 players away from this:
Szczesny / Fabianski
Sagna / Jenkinson
Vermelen / BFG
Kosielny / ?
Song / Coqulien
Wilshere / Rosicky
Arteta / Ramsey
Walcott / Ox
RvP / ?
Podolski / Geo
With the addition of 2 more players (Dempsey & Vertonghen would be my choices) then the 22 man squad is up there with the best & with the likes of Diaby (if he could last 90 minutes) Frimpong, Ryo, Miquel waiting in the wings, this team would be the envy of many in the league if not Europe.

As was shown this season, the conundrum is the right mix of youth & experience & with Jack The Ox on the rise, Arsene just needs to find the missing pieces of the experience puzzle & prove we are not just Robin Reliant.

And finally, a season engulfed in self gratification, I quote some humility from Henri Lansbury;
• “I play for the name on the front of shirt & hope they’ll remember the name on back”

See you all in August.

TheSundayMorningGooner, looking forward to a lie in !!!!!

Far Side View - It Must Be Love

‘Nothing more, nothing less, love is the best’
Well the fat lady has sung & Arsenal have stumbled across the line into third. We did what we had to, just & ensured our season doesn’t stretch another week waiting on Bayern clinching the Champions League at home.
My vote for Arsenal MoM goes to Martin Fulop with an honourable mention to Kieran Gibbs & his 90th minute block, which caused me to scream so loudly, I woke my daughter up @ 1.45am this morning (not in the wife’s good books!!)

Now onto re-signing Robin, ditching the deadwood, getting our transfers done early doors & watching England fail (again) in the €’s

TheSundayMorningGooner, knackered but ecstatic